Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
