you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
