dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
