Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
