some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
