As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
