So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
