Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
