how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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