I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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