I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize