it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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