That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
