She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
