if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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