Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
