would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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