We're facebook friends in real life
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
