went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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