Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
