I've blown a few things in my day
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
