I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
