I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
