it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
what day is it and did you see me today?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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