just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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