people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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