mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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