so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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