I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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