Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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