ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
