Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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