she smelled like a LAN party
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
