i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.