a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
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and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
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Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day