I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I want her autograph on my taint
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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