you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In other news, I just burned my penis
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
