Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up under a house in Key West
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
