no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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