In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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