so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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