1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
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i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
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it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home