If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Ladies don't puke and tell
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
