Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger

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(831): you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger http://tfl.nu/xtvv

Replies (11) Good night (3656) Bad night (989)
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(516): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before

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(516): I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before http://tfl.nu/l3md

Replies (60) Good night (671) Bad night (4991)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded

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(306): This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded http://tfl.nu/nfzj

Replies (59) Good night (1222) Bad night (6977)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair

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(513): I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair http://tfl.nu/zl2m

Replies (35) Good night (4746) Bad night (822)
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(941): View more from Florida

Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.

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(941): Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low. http://tfl.nu/swva

Replies (33) Good night (959) Bad night (6469)
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(845): View more from New York

im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars

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(845): im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars http://tfl.nu/ybwb

Replies (37) Good night (1803) Bad night (4718)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here

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(614): Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here http://tfl.nu/czu0

Replies (13) Good night (3168) Bad night (992)
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(586): View more from Michigan

You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.

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(586): You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you. http://tfl.nu/lwwd

Replies (6) Good night (4082) Bad night (1040)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.

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(703): I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia. http://tfl.nu/9rne

Replies (8) Good night (1846) Bad night (1085)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog

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(312): Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog http://tfl.nu/dk0r

Replies (23) Good night (4961) Bad night (809)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days

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(405): I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days http://tfl.nu/vazm

Replies (6) Good night (1746) Bad night (840)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

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(617): Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council. http://tfl.nu/w0zb

Replies (7) Good night (2871) Bad night (703)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke

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(416): Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke http://tfl.nu/mtw8

Replies (1) Good night (449) Bad night (1199)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.

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(920): hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas. http://tfl.nu/4k38

Replies (10) Good night (779) Bad night (385)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.

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(208): Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order. http://tfl.nu/2umc

Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (530)

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