I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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