Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
