someone owes me an orgasm
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
