i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
