ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
