The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
