your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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