You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
