Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
