i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I love having hate sex.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
