D3 body, D1 cock
I think I won the penis lottery.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
