No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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