So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
