so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
