We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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