I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize