Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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