Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
two words...techno handjob
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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