It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
